The Truth About Your Past and Relationships in the Future - You're Not Perfect

Relationships are tough nowadays. When the going gets tough, many people tend to back off and call it quits. We are in a generation where people tend to dispose of things rather than fix them. Take Apple products for example. They can't be upgraded or modified like a normal PC can. So if an Apple product dies, it just gets thrown out and replaced, simple as that. I'm not saying that everyone does this. There are legitimate reasons for people dropping out of relationships. Impossible situations do occur when two people simply can't keep things up. It's like your entire PC is completely rusted somehow. PCs can be fixed, but in that kind of situation it can't be fixed no matter how much you modify it (let alone it'll be dangerous to experiment with it).

So what about the people that try to find their prince charming or Emma Watson? It may be up for debate, but both male and females are equally victims of "chasing the purple dragon" (Some may argue that a larger proportion of females than males are a culprit of this). What does that mean? It is an analogy for someone that is high on drugs and they see a purple dragon in front of them that they try to catch. Of course, the purple dragon isn't actually there. As a result, the drug induced victim is effectively chasing something that doesn't exist.

So yeah. A lot of people seem to be chasing something that does not exist. Some may argue that "Oh it does exist! You see in magazines and gossip that they're getting together and having kids and everything!" I say, "Sure, that's what you see on the surface. Do you really know what's going on behind the scenes? Why do you think Taylor Swift has so many songs about ex boyfriends? Why are there so many stories about divorce between celebrities and what not?" Put it simply: There is NO perfect relationship that exists on the planet. Probably in the universe.

The whole method of "chasing the purple dragon" is completely flawed for one reason: For a person to adopt good qualities, they have to had firstly made some mistakes. Thus that person can't really be perfect, since they've fouled up before. Where's your Prince Charming now?

So everyone has a varied past in someway or the other. Of course it is best to base a person on what they are now and what they can do in the future. But the truth of the matter is that barely anyone does this properly. People will ALWAYS judge you based on your past. It happens in relationship, friendships, job interviews, everywhere. It is a hard truth to shallow, but it is what it is in this case. So what if some important person in your life shallows your past and is able to live with it? Someone else connected with them will judge you based on your past AGAIN! It never ends!

There are three ways to use your past personally:

1. The good times - These are good moments that you had in the past. Thinking about these will make you happy. These can be looked back at for this purpose.
2. The bad times - These are bad moments that you had in the past. Thinking about these will make you sad. Just forget them because they serve no purpose, unless they are...
3. Life lessons - This is the most important use of the past. Life is like a teacher. Bad things happens and you ought to learn from them so you don't repeat the same mistakes again, or at the very least improve yourself next time. It's like a teacher marking your test. When you get your paper back, you know what you got wrong. You'll know what to do for the second test... Hopefully.

A fourth category is like the third one, which is simply to reaffirm what you learnt the first time. We are human after all, so we can forgot our previous lessons over time.

So why did I tell you this? Because that is for you to use on yourself to create a better future. However, we don't control everything so that formula may or may not work. Why? Because people are NOT going to judge your past and "sort" out your past events based on the above. They will use it only in two ways: In support for you, or against you. The formula is simple:

1. The good times - Used in your favour
2. The bad times - Used against you

For every criticism you give, t takes a hundred well dones to over ride that one remark. Have a ton of achievements, people will not think much of it. Make one mistake, and everyone goes insane over it. Unfortunately that is the way people work when it comes to judging people. It is even worse when people let the first impression of you be the last impression of you. Once again, a lot of people do this.

However, I'm not here just to be the bearer of bad news. There is something YOU can do.

First, know what's your worth and potential. Everyone has some talent in a way or another. Noone is completely useless. People may say otherwise, but when you seek out what you are worth, then you can work on proving that the bad times that you've had in the past shouldn't be used against you, and should just be forgotten.

Einstein failed classes in school, but did people use that against him when he became the most innovative physicist in the 20th Century? People kept their mouths shut. How about Kerry Packer? He was considered the class idiot in school, but he was the richest man in Australia. Once again, I wouldn't use his poor grades against him.

You ought to let your advantages be overwhelming. You got to prove to others that your past should not be used against you. Because most people can't see your potential. You got to look at yourself to see your own worth and know what you can do. Ultimately, you are in control of what you can do. Not necessarily in control of what people think, but you have the POTENTIAL to change that.

I started talking about this in a relationship context, how does this relate? Simple. There are people influencing one another and that can be a make or break in a relationship. Other people can influence a relationship (for either legitimate or illegitimate reasons of course). Prove to those idiots who think less of you. They don't know the real you, so prove to them what you're worth.

Your past will always be there. For the future, what you do with it and how you influence others with your past
is what matters.

JD