Your allies, acquaintances, and your enemies... Who is who?

"As I walked into my year 4 class in primary school, I pretty much knew noone. The friends I knew from my year 2/3 were in a different class. I knew noone. I didn't know who my friends or enemies would be. Turned out the 3 people in the far right of the room would be them in due time. At least there were some friends I made.

As I walked into my year 5 class in primary school, I knew very little people, almost like last year. 2 more enemies, nothing too big in the friends category.

As I walked into my year 6 class in primary school, I knew one person from the entirety of my primary school life. My limits were tested that year, since the class was my enemy... That includes the teachers."

So yeah, primary school sucked for me...

The thing that is scary about being put into a new environment is that you just don't know what role people are going to play in your life. As I've previously stated, every one of our lives is a story, we have friends and foes, we have ups and downs, and everything that makes it interesting. The difference however is the transparency of people. Take Harry Potter for example, in the first movie you could tell right off the bat that Ron and Harmony were going to be Harry's friends, whilst Malfoy and Snape were going to be enemies with Harry. Unfortunately, it is not usually as clear cut as a movie may make it out to be.

This is simply due to people being complicated. One minute they like you, the next they give you a death scare (all the FOBs at uni, I'm talking about you in particular). The truth is that not everyone is going to like you, so you need to work out how to essentially "rank" people.

So how to do this? Is there a fool-proof formula to determine your friends and foes?

Simple answer is no. However, we can define the three categories as in the heading: Allies (friends), acquaintances and enemies. These categories are not that simple however, since they can even some into sub categories. Let me give you mine for example:

• Allies: People who you can get along with and will help you in times of need. This even involves selflessness on their part when it comes to assisting you. Of course as a good friend you should do the same. There are two categories to allies however:
• Emergency contact allies (best friends): These are the people really close to you and will help you, even if it means putting themselves second at times. Finding a friend like this means that you've found someone who you can really depend on. They give their all to help, and you do the same in return when it counts. These are the type of people that would save you from a burning house (without taking into account their physical capabilities). Note that there should not be many of these type of allies. If you have a lot falling under this category, you should really rethink your ranking system. 
• Fun allies: These are people who are similar to emergency contact allies, but they most likely would not put themselves first in dire situations, such as a burning house. They may or may not give their all to you. You should still keep them close, because they are your friends. They care about you, and you should do the same in return. These are people who will ride with you in a limo, and a bus.
• Acquaintances: Not quite friends for whatever reasons. Maybe you don't trust them to the extent as with a friend. That can be for various reasons. You would need to question how much they care about you as well. These aren't bad people by any means, but they should be kept an eye on. These are people who will ride with you in a limo, but not in a bus.
• Enemies:
• Irrational enemies: I'm going to be honest. I hate this category the worst. This is because they jump the gun and automatically hate you for some reason. Usually it's a stupid reasons, hence being an irrational enemy (shout out to all the FOBs reading this).
• Rational enemies: Enemies that have a rational reason to hate you. Whatever the reason is, these are the ones to really keep an eye upon.

So here are my categories defined. As much as I hated ranking people, the truth is that it needs to be done. Some people deserve more attention from you than others. If you spend time on people that doesn't give squat about you, it'll just zap your energy, and you won't have any left to use on people worthwhile.

So how to determine who falls under which category? There is no fool-proof way as I stated, but this guide may help:

Friend?

Firstly, write down on a piece of paper in two to three sentences what you define as a friend (not a best friend, just a friend in general). Don't think about it, just pick up a pen and write immediately. Now think of a person. Do they fit under what you want in a friend? If so, then good. If not, then they are probably an...

Acquaintance?

An acquaintance is someone you either just met and you know squat about them, or they were a friend, but crossed the line too many times. What do I mean by cross the line? Some people don't learn from their previous mistakes and they tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over again, resulting in you getting hurt. These people simply cannot be your friends. How much is too much? I go by the strike three rule: Three big foul ups, you're out. Of course, they can redeem themselves which may result in them taking out one strike point, but it has to be damn convincing. 

The way I like to think about it is like this: If I had all the money in the world, how much would this person hang out with you? Compare that to if you were on minimum wage, how much would this person hang out with you? If there is a significant difference, then they're an acquaintance. Friends do not have an incentive to hang out with a particular person based on a materialistic reason, such as money, fame or status. 

Enemies?

Not much to say. If someone hates your guts, then so be it. Not worth spending much energy on these people. Instead of riding with you in a bus, they'd play the role of the driver, which they bail out of the last second before they crash it.

A few points to consider when categorising someone:

• Don't let your first judgment be your last. In fact, your first judgment should NEVER be your last. You'll probably know more about this person in due time and you might like them. They could play a major role in your story as a good guy. In short, don't judge a book by it's cover.
• First impressions are important however, and can be a guide as to who is good and bad in general. But people can put on a face (shout out to the FOBs once again).
• Use your gut/heart to determine this. The brain can play a role once you get to know someone, but can block out people necessarily. Only use it if your heart/gut is at a 50-50.
• Be open minded. You're better off testing the waters with more people rather than restricting your chances of finding amazing people.
• Most important: People can switch from one category to another. This happens often, especially since people change over time. You can't help it about 99% of the time, so don't feel bad if it is for the worst.

One more thing: None of these categories are perfect. This includes the friends on your emergency contact list. You will have bumpy roads with them and there will be conflicts once in a while. You should take this as something that may be potentially good. This is because your friendship can get stronger when you get through it together. I guess in the words of Twilight Sparkle: "Friendship isn't easy, but there's no doubt that it is worth fighting for."